I went to my first counselling session last night. The experience was not unpleasant. I hope it will help me to come to terms with some of the anger, guilt, hurt and bitterness that losing Allan has brought out in me (and I suppose in others). Earlier on in the day I sent an email to the Carrick Gazette with a draft for Allan's memorial notice on 23rd February. This time I plan to have a notice with a colour photo inside the paper, rather than among the Family Notices section. I want everyone to know Allan was loved and is sorely missed in someone's life. I want it loving and quietly dignified, just like my man