On the anniversary of our first date, I again went down to the cemetery (note to self - don't do night shifts when you're driving that day). I cleaned up the grave area, including removing the 2 Christmas wreaths and replacing them with a nice new floral arrangement for Allan and Jean, and my siungle red rose for my love. It wasn't a bad day, actually I didn't feel as overwrought as I usually do because, well despite Allan having gone from this life, I remmebered how and where we first met, and that was good. It didn't quite stop the tears, but at least I didn't go completely off, which I was graetful for. Drained of emotion, tired from not enough sleep and night working and I'm a walking (or rather driving) accident waiting to happen. Allan does look after me still in some ways; I think he's become the "man on my shoulder" that the cartoons use. I know he's the "good guy", not the wee devil. Another night shift beckons later and then my CRUSE "assessment meeting" tomorrow. What will be revealed? Who knows... Happy anniversary Allan!