Following my second counselling meeting yesterday, I wasn't exactly sure how I felt, or indeed I wanted to do next. I thought that I'd add some journal entre and rejig the tribute information. I was kind of on the right thread, but then I had to stop because I simply cannot describe what kind of a human being Allan was. I learned a lot from him, and I have tried to emulate some of his characteristics and his gentle touch, but I can't. I'm feeding the birds, getting a lot of pleasure from this simple thing. I'm looking at things with a slightly different focus, but at the same time I would have very much preferred to have him here, teaching me, telling me more of the things that he had learned, taking time to help me develop the side of me that is so lacking. I miss him so much.