Today is the anniversary of Allan's mum passing away, so I thought I'd go down to the cemetery and combine two reasons for going. What hellish weather; wet, dark and very windy during the journey down, but surprisingly calm when I got to that village I had quickly come to despise. I washed Allan's headstone, did my usual tidying up and cried and wailed. I laid a nice arrangement of autumn colour flowers, and one of the yellow roses had come away, so I laid that on the headstone for my love, and the rest for Jean (but I'm sure she'd be happy to share with Allan). One of Heather's wee treasures from Allan's birthday was still there, so I cleaned that and just replaced it. Allan would certainly have been there had he been alive, commemorating that awful day when he lost his precious Mum. I couldn't let this anniversary go by, especially when I had the sneaking suspicion, later confirmed, that nobody or nothing would be at the graveside from the rest of his family. I know we're all different and some of us can't bear to visit graves of loved ones (not that I know myself,since Allan's the first person I've lost), but I was marking the date for my man. I can't guarantee I'll always do it, but I can promise that every time I'm down there, I will share the time I spend with Allan with Jean if both of them want that. I never knew Allan's mother, but I wanted her to know that I am so grateful for the gift she gave me, her precious son. Without her I would never have met Allan, and I wanted her to know she did such a great job; she raised a fine son, a good man and a decent human being. Thank you Jean! xx