Just goes to show you... Allan's car has a completely flat battery due to it sitting outside doing nothing for months. I'm surprised it hadn't given up before, though given that all it does is just sit outside the door, there's no reason why I would have noticed anyway, so it could have been flat as the proverbial for months. Flat is how I'd define myself just now. Following on from my visit to Barrhill, I felt a little bit uplifted, but it didn't last for long. Today I've been looking after the fish (changing water and testing stuff), and getting windows and clothes washed in what's likely to be one of, if not the last decent day for hanging washing out. I'm trying to do routine stuff to help me get focused, to allow me a bit of time to try and live a normal existence. I broke down while I was using the shower to rinse the bath out. Allan and I fitted the shower, and it's something I was really happy about. We were doing things together, and I was enjoying watching my man and supporting him. It's one of the many good memories I have of Allan, and it helps my heart a wee bit to remember the happy times we shared, but also to be hopeful of the happy times we will share again in the next life. My major fear is Allan will be so far ahead of me that I will never be able to catch him up when I pass on, or that he won't recognise me or want to talk to me when we meet. So both the battery and my heart have something in common after all...