I had to tell my pal in Spain that I won't be coming over for a holiday this year. The last time I was over was in 2008, with a certain special someone. It's been really hard even contemplating going away on my own, but this year I have the fact that I am still off work (against my will), and am living on less than I would be if I was on the Dole (including my housing costs that is) to contend with. A flight's out of the question, let alone the rest of the expense I would have incurred. Then again, even if I had the money, it still wouldn't be the same. Nothing is, or ever will be the same again. Without Allan, nothing's the same.