I got through the 9 month anniversary of Allan passing. I was lying in the bed, and I must have fallen asleep. I woke up and noticed it was after 6, so I'd missed that time when Allan passed away those long months ago. "I'm sorry Allan" I said, because I felt more than a bit guilty about it, but I felt even more sad when I realised that I hadn't felt him beside me. I thought that on such an important day, I'd feel closer to him and that maybe he'd be able to get closer to me and I'd know he was there. It wasn't to be I'm afraid; the one time I have felt him with me was a long time ago now. I've begun to think that he doesn't want to talk to me, or is it perhaps becaue I just can't hear him? The last time I went to the Medium, I was told he was "resting". Short, not so sweet and to the point. Is he angry with me? What have I done, or not done? I don't know.