Allan gave me the best hope for my life to be happy than anyone ever did. His love, his friendship and his support made me feel that my life really was on track and getting better. I really didn't know how happy I was until I lost him. Recent events have shown me just how destructive losing someone so precious can be. The love that Allan gave me made me feel so good, now I feel so bad. It's like his love has turned into a poison, eating me away slowly but surely from the inside, choking my heart, tearing into my soul. I grew very quickly to needing him, now that need is like an autoimmune reaction, my yearning for him has become a destructive force. Allan, you gave me a truly special thing when you and I got together, but I became so reliant on you that when you died, my world really did crumble.