Everyone around me says things will get better, or the pain will just dull down. I have to say I don't finds that's the case. It's been about 5 and a half months since Allan died, and the past couple of weeks have been the worst I've been since then. Maintaining this site helps sometimes, but often the sounds of the music and the photos just reinforce just what I've lost when Allan passed on. I try to remember the good times, but we had so many good times still to come, planned for or talked about that it makes me so desparately sad then angry, and... Oh I don't know, probably every emotion under the Sun. I'd told Allan he wasn't getting away from me until I'd had the chance to nag him for at least 40 years, now look what's happened! He went and "jumped ship" on me. You have a lot of explaining to do Mister! I love you Mister! Every single moment without you is torture. If I could guarantee that I could be with you, believe me honey I would jump at the chance because I was happy with you, and I'm unhappy now.